When the Founding Fathers wrote the Constitution and framed our democratic electoral process, they never imagined Super PACs, attack ads, and extremely annoying Facebook political fodder. Surely, if James Madison had envisioned this, he simply would have written “We the people, in order to form a more perfect union, establish that presidential candidates shall battle each other for the throne in a two-man, Mortal Kombat-style fighter app for iPad and iPhone.”
While an amendment is unlikely in the near future, fortunately, the app is already here. Vote!! app allows you to pit Romney vs. Obama in an arena that makes you not completely hate politics.
The game allows you to pick your nominee and battle your opponent in a series of fights set in the Oval Office, in a debate or on the White House lawn. And lest you think this is all a battle of brawn, the game allows you to use a bevy of presidential objects at your disposal in the fight: microphone, the Constitution, light sabres. The game in $.99 in the App Store, but many of the add ons will cost you a few extra bucks.
As far as a real head-to-head fight, both opponents have their strengths and weaknesses. Obama is from the rough and tough Chicago, where politics is all about fighting dirty. Obama would no doubt be a dirty fighter. Indian burns, titty twisters, and nut shots would all be on the table. But as he’s shown in his presidency, Obama will eventually back down if he takes too much of a pounding.
On the other hand, don’t let Romney’s priveleged, rich-guyness detract from his fighting skills. A reported high school bully, Romney proved in his venture capital days that he can be bloodthirsty. His fight style would no doubt be ruthless, as he would break fingers and throw in enough kidney shots to make Obama pee blood for a week. But Romney is indecisive, and he no doubt would wait to take his cues from the audience before throwing the next punch, like a Price is Right contestant trying to discern from the audience which box he should pick next.
So, there you have it, a way more in depth than it should have been analysis of a potential presidential beat down. Who do you think would win this fight?